Mr. Victor Dino
THE EULOGY FOR VICTOR DINO(E. John Love, Val Dino)
I'm John Love, Vic's brother in law.
I'm
so proud to have been Vic's family and friend. I didn't know him as
long as many of you, but his friendship has affected me deeply, and the
Dignity, Decorum, and Strength with which he faced his many burdens is
an example to all who knew and loved him.
I first met Vic back
in 1986 when I began dating his sister Grace. Vic was always friendly
and welcoming to me, and tried to strike a brotherly tone with this
slightly scruffy young guy. Vic's individualism and single-minded
purpose were his hallmarks, and over the next 20 years, I learned to
respect his passion for life and the depth of his feelings for the
people he loved.
I got close to Vic after his health crisis in
2015, when he lost his appendix and gall bladder, and suffered a painful
twisted bowel. It was a traumatic time for Vic and his family. We all
wondered if we might lose him in those first 24 hours of recovery, but
his family and friends rallied to his side, and to his father's side,
and over the next couple of months, Vic recovered and considered what
the future might hold for him.
After that, at the age of 58, Vic
faced the prospect of living independently for the first time in his
life. Throughout 2015, his career, privacy, and living arrangements were
all thrown into disarray, and he transitioned through two hospitals
before settling into his first apartment, in an assisted living complex
called Kelly Court.
Vic grudgingly began to back away from his
fashion career and become what I called "a gentleman of leisure". He
adapted to a new assisted living lifestyle, and learned how to mange his
Meds and supplies, and to stay on top of his diet, health, finances,
and weekly shopping.
Grace and I visited Vic each Sunday night,
joking with him, advising him, watching a DVD, or helping him work on
his Web autobiography. Vic's little one bedroom flat was bright, modern,
and perfect for him, and it became a comfortable place for his father
to come for dinner, for Vic to enjoy his friends, or just a place to
surf the Web or look up old schoolmates on Facebook.
We didn't
always agree with Vic's choices, but they always remained his choices to
make. We talked a lot with him, about responsibility, his future, and
the people who cared for him at Kelly Court.
Vic was stubborn,
and strong, opinionated, silly and vulnerable. He was a complex and
contradictory man. He had an encyclopedic recall for actors and classic
films, and he loved live theatre and Bard on the Beach. But he'd also
keel over in breathless hysterics when trying to tell me something the
Three Stooges did.
For me, getting to know Vic as closely as I
have in the past 3 years has made me a better person. I've heard similar
feelings from some of his other friends too. I loved Vic like he was my
own brother, and I'll miss him each and every Sunday night.
Whenever
I watch an Orson Welles movie, or Hawaii Five-O, or whenever Moe pokes
Curly in the eye... I'm sure that I'll hear Vic talking to me. I hope
you can hear his voice too.
Vic's sister Grace reminded me that Vic never wanted to be known as the man in the wheelchair.
He wanted to be known as the man in the HAT. (John puts on one of Vic's hats.)
Vic's younger brother Val couldn't be here to deliver his eulogy, but Val asked me to read it for him.
Here are Val's words:
Val's Eulogy for Victor:Every
parent considers their first child to be special. On July 21, 1957, a
child was born who truly was special. Not because he was the first child
to his parents, and not because he was born with cerebral palsy, an
ailment that prevented him from walking and limited the use of his
hands, but because this newborn child would eventually become a man who
somehow was able to overcome those obstacles, despite his handicap.
Vic
was one who always insisted on choosing his own path, choosing his own
destiny, living his life to the best of his abilities like any normal
human being would. In his eyes, he never saw himself as crippled. He saw
himself as an equal to you, me and everyone else. Whatever we could do,
he was every bit capable of doing too. His drive to live his life never
deterred, regardless of what lay ahead of him.
As in every
family, siblings get into their fair share of conflicts. As his younger
brother, believe me when I say, Vic and I had our moments of conflict.
To this very day, I still remember one instance where, for some reason,
Vic & I had an argument and tempers flared. Vic took a swing at me,
but since his reach was limited, he was unable to hit me, but I
retaliated anyway striking him across the nose. About two weeks later,
as I was casually walking by, Vic struck me across the stomach using his
arm wearing his steel brace. "Hey! What was that for?!!!" I said. His
response was "That's for hitting me on my nose!" It was at that moment, I
learned about payback, and for the first time in my 8 years of life, I
didn't know what to say, except "Oh". My point: Vic always believed he
was fully capable of living his life as normally as those who weren't
disabled.
He attended Eric Hamber High School, where he spoke on
behalf of all the students during his graduation ceremony. After high
school, he went on to further his education at UBC and Blanche MacDonald
school, which eventually helped him to operate his own business
managing models and producing fashion shows.
Since I'd moved away
from Vancouver, years passed where I wasn't able to see him. There may
have been thousands of miles between us, but he was always in my
thoughts. Thankfully, I was kept informed of his well being. I never
doubted that he'd be successful in whatever he chose to do. I always
knew he would succeed, doing it his way.
Today, we mourn the loss
of Vic, and yet we also celebrate his life and acknowledge the fact
that he was an inspiration to us. He makes us realize how lucky we are,
that maybe our everyday problems aren't really all that bad since they
could be so much worse, so much more challenging. I only wish all of us
had the courage, inner strength, and determination that Vic had.
He
was a son to proud parents, Honesto and Rosie, a brother to me, Grace
and Bill. He was a brother-in-law to John and Jackie, and to my wife
Laura. He was an uncle to our niece Heather and our nephew Mitchell, and
a friend to countless people.
Undoubtedly, Vic has been welcomed
into the Heavens above. "He planned each chartered course, each careful
step along the byways ... he faced it all, and he stood tall, let the
record show, he did it ... his way"
You will be missed Vic, but
you'll continue to live in our hearts and our memories. You shall not be
forgotten. May you rest in eternal peace.
