Mr. Victor Dino
JULY 21, 1957 – NOVEMBER 18, 2018
THE EULOGY FOR VICTOR DINO
(E. John Love, Val Dino)
I'm John Love, Vic's brother in law.
I'm so proud to have been Vic's family and friend. I didn't know him as long as many of you, but his friendship has affected me deeply, and the Dignity, Decorum, and Strength with which he faced his many burdens is an example to all who knew and loved him.
I first met Vic back in 1986 when I began dating his sister Grace. Vic was always friendly and welcoming to me, and tried to strike a brotherly tone with this slightly scruffy young guy. Vic's individualism and single-minded purpose were his hallmarks, and over the next 20 years, I learned to respect his passion for life and the depth of his feelings for the people he loved.
I got close to Vic after his health crisis in 2015, when he lost his appendix and gall bladder, and suffered a painful twisted bowel. It was a traumatic time for Vic and his family. We all wondered if we might lose him in those first 24 hours of recovery, but his family and friends rallied to his side, and to his father's side, and over the next couple of months, Vic recovered and considered what the future might hold for him.
After that, at the age of 58, Vic faced the prospect of living independently for the first time in his life. Throughout 2015, his career, privacy, and living arrangements were all thrown into disarray, and he transitioned through two hospitals before settling into his first apartment, in an assisted living complex called Kelly Court.
Vic grudgingly began to back away from his fashion career and become what I called "a gentleman of leisure". He adapted to a new assisted living lifestyle, and learned how to mange his Meds and supplies, and to stay on top of his diet, health, finances, and weekly shopping.
Grace and I visited Vic each Sunday night, joking with him, advising him, watching a DVD, or helping him work on his Web autobiography. Vic's little one bedroom flat was bright, modern, and perfect for him, and it became a comfortable place for his father to come for dinner, for Vic to enjoy his friends, or just a place to surf the Web or look up old schoolmates on Facebook.
We didn't always agree with Vic's choices, but they always remained his choices to make. We talked a lot with him, about responsibility, his future, and the people who cared for him at Kelly Court.
Vic was stubborn, and strong, opinionated, silly and vulnerable. He was a complex and contradictory man. He had an encyclopedic recall for actors and classic films, and he loved live theatre and Bard on the Beach. But he'd also keel over in breathless hysterics when trying to tell me something the Three Stooges did.
For me, getting to know Vic as closely as I have in the past 3 years has made me a better person. I've heard similar feelings from some of his other friends too. I loved Vic like he was my own brother, and I'll miss him each and every Sunday night.
Whenever I watch an Orson Welles movie, or Hawaii Five-O, or whenever Moe pokes Curly in the eye... I'm sure that I'll hear Vic talking to me. I hope you can hear his voice too.
Vic's sister Grace reminded me that Vic never wanted to be known as the man in the wheelchair.
He wanted to be known as the man in the HAT. (John puts on one of Vic's hats.)
Vic's younger brother Val couldn't be here to deliver his eulogy, but Val asked me to read it for him.
Here are Val's words:
Val's Eulogy for Victor:
Every parent considers their first child to be special. On July 21, 1957, a child was born who truly was special. Not because he was the first child to his parents, and not because he was born with cerebral palsy, an ailment that prevented him from walking and limited the use of his hands, but because this newborn child would eventually become a man who somehow was able to overcome those obstacles, despite his handicap.
Vic was one who always insisted on choosing his own path, choosing his own destiny, living his life to the best of his abilities like any normal human being would. In his eyes, he never saw himself as crippled. He saw himself as an equal to you, me and everyone else. Whatever we could do, he was every bit capable of doing too. His drive to live his life never deterred, regardless of what lay ahead of him.
As in every family, siblings get into their fair share of conflicts. As his younger brother, believe me when I say, Vic and I had our moments of conflict. To this very day, I still remember one instance where, for some reason, Vic & I had an argument and tempers flared. Vic took a swing at me, but since his reach was limited, he was unable to hit me, but I retaliated anyway striking him across the nose. About two weeks later, as I was casually walking by, Vic struck me across the stomach using his arm wearing his steel brace. "Hey! What was that for?!!!" I said. His response was "That's for hitting me on my nose!" It was at that moment, I learned about payback, and for the first time in my 8 years of life, I didn't know what to say, except "Oh". My point: Vic always believed he was fully capable of living his life as normally as those who weren't disabled.
He attended Eric Hamber High School, where he spoke on behalf of all the students during his graduation ceremony. After high school, he went on to further his education at UBC and Blanche MacDonald school, which eventually helped him to operate his own business managing models and producing fashion shows.
Since I'd moved away from Vancouver, years passed where I wasn't able to see him. There may have been thousands of miles between us, but he was always in my thoughts. Thankfully, I was kept informed of his well being. I never doubted that he'd be successful in whatever he chose to do. I always knew he would succeed, doing it his way.
Today, we mourn the loss of Vic, and yet we also celebrate his life and acknowledge the fact that he was an inspiration to us. He makes us realize how lucky we are, that maybe our everyday problems aren't really all that bad since they could be so much worse, so much more challenging. I only wish all of us had the courage, inner strength, and determination that Vic had.
He was a son to proud parents, Honesto and Rosie, a brother to me, Grace and Bill. He was a brother-in-law to John and Jackie, and to my wife Laura. He was an uncle to our niece Heather and our nephew Mitchell, and a friend to countless people.
Undoubtedly, Vic has been welcomed into the Heavens above. "He planned each chartered course, each careful step along the byways ... he faced it all, and he stood tall, let the record show, he did it ... his way"
You will be missed Vic, but you'll continue to live in our hearts and our memories. You shall not be forgotten. May you rest in eternal peace.
